Too Many Clever Buggers

There were too many university applicants.

A theory for the clever bugger influx was that previous generations of university graduates went forth and multiplied. Another was the rise in opportunities for the peasant classes. Whatever the reason, there were now legions of heartbroken students feeling quite miffed. Touched by their suffering, the government voted to triple tuition fees so that many of the peasants wouldn't even try to apply.

Apparently that didn't work so well, making all the politicians very sad. They consoled themselves by claiming second homes with taxpayers' money, because even if you lived less than twenty minutes from the workplace, having two homes was just nice.

Using paper money to wipe away tears as they sat in their second homes, they wondered what else they could do to discourage the clever buggers from fulfilling their potential. Eventually, an idea came to them.

Testing. They needed more tests.

Unfortunately, it was known that clever buggers had a certain aptitude for tests. So to avoid more successful students, it was decided that the tests should be carried out while they were still very young. Remembering that they already tortured seven years olds academically, tests for four year olds were introduced. The results from these would then be taken into account for university applications.

They were named the Obligatory Outstanding Persons Search. A proposed catchphrase was 'Oops! Guess you'll have to be a cleaner then.' This was rejected in favour of 'Education is our highest priority.'

The number of clever buggers finally decreased.  The streets were clean. Only the prodigies and geniuses were afforded a place at university. Everyone was happy.

When a generation of politicians died, the only ones fit to run the country were the graduates, who in their isolation cared little for the rest of humanity, deeming them stupid. After all, they didn't even think in the same way. They might as well be a different species, a lower class of humans on the same level as animals.

The geniuses went forth and multiplied.

Generations later, geniuses ran and sustained the world while the descendants of cleaners were locked in cages for more tests – mostly cosmetic testing.